Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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