I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
