Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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