help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
