We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
