you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
