i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
BRING THE BAGELS
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Drake has all the answers
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
