Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
