I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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