He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
