OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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