You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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