Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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