I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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