hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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