This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
