Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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