i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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