She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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