VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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