Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've blown a few things in my day
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
