Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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