I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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