i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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