i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
