I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
