Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize