can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
