went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
