Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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