How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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