The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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