Your mouth is God's brothel.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
