I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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