I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
