the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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