You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
being pregnant is like rehab
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
