So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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