An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
