Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize