I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
