You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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