He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
