Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Someone came in the potted fern
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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