if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
