Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He shit in the fireplace
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
