I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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