your thong is hanging out like whoa
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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