maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize