stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Watching her eat just hurts me
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
