Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
