I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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