We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
