Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
