I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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