I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
