i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
