Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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