We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
honey bunches of taint.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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