they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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