hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
