Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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