found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
