Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
