Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize